Ari, interesting points you raise, plenty of which I can sympathise with and agree. Communication is always tricky and one as you know often is situational and dependent on the intent and context. What you said could easily have been met with acknowleddgement maybe even seen as a badge of honour depending on the person.

It's a shame they interpreted your words that way, I think you handled the situation well explaining your intent with an apology and walked away from an escalation.

It sounds like with the person concerned judging by their refusal to accept your apology that whatever you said would have been misinterpreted.