I like to think there could be a several reasons for him struggling or not listening, but then he clearly heard the part about breaking up with him and did not want to accept it or understand from your perspective.

There is only so much benefit of the doubt you can give someone. I am surprised as a Pastor, he struggles to listen. I wonder if he is like this with other people.

It sounds like from your essay you are leaning towards separation for good reasons. I say this respectfully and do not wish to overstep, but perhaps there is merit in examining why you are second-guessing your decision.

I can only imagine how frustrating this is, and I suspect a part of you yearns for the good times and still wants this to work. Ultimately, I think that how he makes you feel aligned with what you value will give you your answer.