Jan, the dilemma is palpable and deeply felt in this well written essay. You paint so eloquently, family dynamics and differing viewpoints, which are so often sources for contention. Especially when we desired to be heard and have our feelings validated.

I know it is not my place and that I can't possibly offer any practical wisdom or advice in this situation. But I recognise your words of contemplation and what looks like the decision you have made. Sometimes, as you well know, the decision is far easier than accepting and making peace with it and sometimes preserving the good memories we have is all we need to maintain our peace.