Racheli, welcome to Medium. Thank you for writing a refreshingly, honest and well-written piece. I can relate to many of the thoughts and emotions you express.
Interestingly I had a conversation earlier this week with my writing group. We talked about approaches to writing, and the general view was we should aim to write for ourselves. In the long run, if it is honest and what you feel then you will be at peace with your writing. The rest will follow. After the discussion, I thought about this and concluded that ultimately that was true. Still, when you write on a platform such as Medium, it is easy to centre on an intended audience, and I think the approach slightly shifts because you want to get your message out there and you want it to be read.